Amusement Costs

Americans are crazy about entertainment. I've been traveling recently and I notice that Americans start to get kind of antsy if they are left without entertainment (stimulation) for even short periods of time. In the airport, I noticed people plugging in laptops, firing up iPods, and using their cell phones (plus reading books and magazines) to pass the time. There is almost a frenzy to amuse oneself, even if a wait is just a few minutes.

You can't try one of those Mommy-SUVs unless you have DVD screens in the back for the kids. Even a 20-minute drive to run errands would be insufferable for children without having outside entertainment.

My TV went on the fritz recently and we spent about five days without TV. It was sort of wonderful but in a painful way. I think I made a lot more money because I work freelance mostly and it forced me to work more. Maybe that's the wrong way of looking at it. No TV allowed me to carve out more of my time in productive ways.

But it was an uneasy feeling.

Now all of that entertainment comes at a very high price. The gizmos and gadgets aren't cheap. Cable TV (if you have it) can run $80 to $100 a month without even getting anything too special. Buying or renting DVDs, going regularly to movies and concerts. It all adds up.

If it really added depth to our lives, I would be all for it. I'm not opposed to spending money (even lots of money) on things that add worth and dimension to your life. But I think our craving for constant entertainment adds a lot of bills but not a whole lot of depth. It just makes us nervous when somebody unplugs us.

I felt that way when I was traveling. I was on a business trip, traveling alone, and here and there I found myself being asked to sit quietly (on a short plane ride, in a cab) for a brief period of time with no form of amusements available. It was a little unsettling. I think I forget how to amuse myself or just think or strike up a conversation.

Yet those are the things we remember. I have probably seen every Law & Order episode ever made, and yet what has it really added to my life? But I can remember some accidental conversations, chance encounters, that I seized upon. I have benefited from long hours spent struggling to learn German vocabulary words (I'm a translator, among other things) or sort out the meaning of difficult Bible passages. All fitting and beneficial things.

But our non-stop addiction to outside electronic stimulation ... expensive and scary!

The Equation

Talk to most people and they'll tell you that their financial woes could all be solved with one simple thing. They need money. More money. A whole lot more money.

This thinking has actually spawned an entire industry that's sweeping the world: the lottery. People play the lottery because they think a windfall is the answer.

More realistic (but equally wrong) people will assure me that it's all in the income. I've talked to families who earn, say $60,000 a year in combined income. They moan and groan. They could make it, really make it, if they could just earn $70,000 a year. Even $68,500 would do it. But $70,000 would be perfect. Easy street.

But then I talk to another family, in the same neighborhood, same demographics, same family size, everything is equivalent. The thing is, this family already is earning $70,000. Far from being economically advantaged, they perceive themselves in the same dire straits as the first family, wailing that they are financially doomed unless ... they could earn just $80,000 a year.

Don't laugh. The guy who earns $200,000 is whining that he isn't making $250,000.

What all of these poor pitiful people have in common is a delusion. It's a delusion that runs throughout the whole country. But popularity doesn't make a delusion into reality.

The fact is that your financial report card has two sides. Part of it is what you make. Don't misunderstand me, income is a big part of your overall financial picture and more is better.

But there's another side to the equation that nobody talks about. It's how much you spend.

Most people are dumbfounded that their spending habits even matter or contribute in any way, shape or form to their overall financial well-being. Most people feel helpess in terms of managing spending habits. It's almost as if spending is an uncontrollable variable in the equation and to prosper we need to increase the income.

It's the other way around.

You have tremendous control over what you spend. You have a slight degree of control over what you earn--some of us more than others. But you really don't have that much influence over what salary your company pays you. True, you can change jobs, but your income is going to be limited by the jobs available and your education and skills. Some of us just aren't going to ever earn a million a year, and that's all there is to it.

But all of us can save money. When you start controlling that part--the part you can control-- you increase your net worth, you improve your finances.

If you're working, I bet there are people right now in this country earning what you're earning and in comparable situations (geography, family size, obligations) who are quite comfortable and there are others who are massively strapped for cash. The difference isn't the income. It's the spending habits.

You've got to spend less.

Is it Hard to Save Money?

The difference between people who are successfully frugal and those who see the benefits of frugality yet never quite break through is really one of attitude.

There are a lot of pressures out there to spend. Credit cards companies can sense your weaknesses. If you've got a maxed-out card or two, they lure you with offers for other, better, newer cards or boost your limits.

The media acts like the entire American economy depends on retail sales at holiday season.

Entire industry are built on trends (fashion, electronics, show business). We're enticed to consumer restaurant food, prepackaged entertainment, and convenient lifestyles providing we can pay for them.

Frugality involves thinking about all of these things differently. Holidays become a time of getting together and celebrating rather than presents. Your entertainment is no longer a top priority as you start to put together a life that is meaningful rather than just diverting. Fads seem foolish; you need to focus on what is practical and of genuine value. Your vanity takes a nose dive.

Frugality is about being humble, simple, and resourceful. Those are the anti-virtues in our society! We're encouraged to be proud ("have it your way!"), complicated (ever seen a mom on a cell phone driving a mini van with kids watching a DVD in the back?) and needy (spa treatments, cleaning services, nannies and other "providers" give us the good life where we don't even have to clip our own toenails).

This is not good for you, not emotionally, not spiritually, not physically, and certainly not financially. But getting frugal and staying there are tough. But here is some advice.

1. Frugality is reinforcing. The more you do of it, the easier and more rewarding it gets.
2. You can get to a point where your frugality goes on auto-pilot. If you're not there yet, persist, because that mode exists.
3. You need the company of like-minded frugal folks, even if only online. Nobody "out there" understands you. Don't expect them to.